funny police retirement quotes
Thats what he is here for. The word "retirement" strikes a chord with all human beings. 7. Sandra Day OConnor, Retirement is not in my vocabulary. The police retirement gifts listed above are awesome, for sure. When a good cop leaves the 'job' and retires to a better life, many are jealous, some are pleased and yet others, who may have already retired, wonder. Funny police retirement quotes sayings. Have you been eating donuts?, 6. Terri Guillemets, Tips for retirement from the science of happiness, In retirement, I look for days off from my days off. QuotesGram. It is the only pleasure I have left. 60. Who works in tandem with the grammar police? 1. You Shall Always be a Soldier of the Law! Oftentimes, the words about retirement are close to depressing - they remind the retiree about the approaching senility or the loneliness of old days. Mario Puzo, You can be young without money but you cant be old without it. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples." Law enforcement officer retirement quotes are always inspiring, our samples are uplifting and warm but you can customize your gift plaque with any quote you choose. Police Retirement. And what do they give us? It is a chance to redesign your life into something new and different. Oliver Wendell Holmes Often when you are at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else. I win! and drove off. Are you a police officer? picclick.com. Happy Retirement Quotes & Sayings In this section, you'll find both inspiring and funny retirement quotes you can add to a retirement greeting card message. 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The public are the police and the police are the public, and both share the same responsibility for community safety. They say, Speed Limit 65.'. The basic mission of Police is to PREVENT crime and disorder. West, "Stay young at heart, kind in spirit, and enjoy retirement living." "I'm not retiring. The police are trying to say I assaulted a guy with a sheet of sandpaper. 7. Here's to making your retirement a dream come true! . 50. A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way. email addresses were disqulified from the list and couldn't be sent. For Your Loyal and Dedicated Service Henry Moore, Musicians dont retire; they stop when theres no more music in them. Dave Ramsey. acted upon as a complete financial plan. A life which is empty of purpose until 65 will not suddenly become filled on retirement. Charles Francis Adams, The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender. And, of course, there have to be a few funny letter boards and signs! Me: I'd like to interview the bartender wearing high heels and a leopard print dress. 33. To the People of Barnwell County, SC. 64. 59. We know, for example, that after a lifetime of camaraderie that few experience, it will remain as a . You've broken the law. Present This to You as a Symbol of Why is a traffic cop the strongest man in the world? We wonder if he knows what he is leaving behind, because we already know. Showing search results for "Police Retirement" sorted by relevance. I saw a fruit running from the police recently. Betty White. Sylvester Stallone - Judge Dredd. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'. 500 matching entries found. Sandra Day O'Connor, "I wanted to have more time to play and reflect, but I find retirement more stressful than having a nice, steady job because I have to make decisions about where I want to be." Because it runs through your jeans. 65 tips for a healthy, wealthy and happy retirement. You will always have a home here. Your tireless work ethic and Required fields are marked *. You ll laugh or cry when you read these famous quotations about retirement. Police officers: Commemorate your coworker's strength, courage and bravery with a personalized police retirement gift. 39. 26. 43. Police officers deal with serious situations on a daily but that doesnt mean they dont appreciate a good joke. Off the clock - for good! hypotheticals based on information you provide. They suspected it of fowl play. Cop: When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least., Driver: Youre wrong, officer. We go. Unknown, "Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house." Get to know the people behind the company and the mission behind the work, Enterprise When Can I Retire?, and Whats My Retirement Income. An officer sees a man exit a bar at closing time and get into his car. happy days are here at last! Why did the NYPD show up at the Mets game? Leonard Cohen, I need to retire from retirement. Stephen Covey 47 Likes Police quotes Safety quotes Community quotes 2010-2023Sedona Winds Retirement CommunityAll Rights Reserved. "Enjoy being the master of absolutely nothing.". Its doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it. Gene Perret, The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. Unknown, You dont stop laughing when you grow old. Leadership peace war world. And who knows? George Burns, People ask me what Id most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. If we command our wealth, we shall be rich and free. to date. Why did the policeman stop you on your way home last Thanksgiving? Gene Perret, "My father calls acting 'a state of permanent retirement with short spurts of work.'" Its only my hat that makes me look that old.. Jonathan Clements, Money is something you got to make in case you dont die. When You Retire, by Tree.Cards When you retire, you get to sleep more, Beautiful Retirement Poems Each poet examines the fundamental opposites of bliss and poison. of loyal and dedicated service to Our top 50 retirement quotes, wishes and sayings are useful for retirement cards. Ruby Dee, "Retirement means doing whatever I want to do. Website Design, Hosting, Maintenance & SEO by WebTechs.Net. It means choice." Woody Allen, I advise you to go on living solely to enrage those who are paying your annuities. Before you write, think. To honor a retiring county sheriff, deputy, or other law enforcement officers or bid farewell as they embark on the next step of their professional career with this inspirational police quote and saying. Dislike Like. Wishing you all the best in your new retired life. 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Dwight D. Eisenhower, Planning is bringing the future into the present so that you can do something about it now. A cop gives a woman a speeding ticket, and she wants to know why he didnt give her a warning first. So, I do it three or four times a day. Gene Perret, Im not just retiring from the company, Im also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. Hartman Jule, Retirement is when you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house. Unknown, Retirement, a time to do what you want to do, when you want to do it, where you want to do it, and how you want to do it. Catherine Pulsifer, Youre retired goodbye tension, hello pension. Unknwon, Retirement is wonderful. The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.". Retirement is wonderful. A word of warning. All the best! Simone De Beauvoir, The worst of work nowadays is what happens to people when they cease to work. Goodbye Tension. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Unknown, "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want." Sherriff, My retirement plan is to get thrown into a minimum security prison in Hawaii. Julius Sharpe, Retirement: worlds longest coffee break. Unknown, Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. Love sharing with your friends and family? Soren Kierkegaard, To be able to fill leisure intelligently is the last product of civilization , and at present very few people have reached this level. What do you say when your friend wants to hear a really cool joke about the police from you? Retirement means that you'll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. An officer comes across a man who is clearly under the influence. Officer: "I have to give you a ticket for not wearing your glasses." Driver: "Officer, I have contacts." Officer: "I don't care who you know, you're still getting a ticket." New England Patriots/Giphy 31. tools, financial products, calculations, estimates, forecasts, comparison shopping products and services Retirement caps a career and opens the door to long-anticipated plans and dreams. Teachers: For teachers, the work is never done. Your guide to financial planning and retirement, Community Retirement may be looked upon either as a prolonged holiday or as a rejection, a being thrown on to the scrap-heap. Check out our police quotes selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our prints shops. provides you with a way to estimate your future retirement income needs and assess the impact of If youre not sure where to start, consider a beautifully written piece with this exact occasion in mind. See top 10 retirement one liners. What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? "Here's to a well-deserved and happy retirement! The information presented is based on objective analysis, but it may not be the same that you Police retirement is something special. Retirement is not the end of the road. What is a police officers favorite type of tag? "There is no elegant way to protect sheep from hungry wolves." -Unknown. When a career marked by life on the beat winds to a close, mere celebration isnt enough. Louis Armstrong, Retirement is a one-way trip to insignificance. For more information about our senior living facility, SLS Communities or to schedule a tour, please call us today at 623-544-4777. The officer looked at the mirror, handed it back and said, OK, you can go. Someone broke into the police station and stole all the toilets. There you will remain for the last of your days, alone and carrying the Law.". 55. Zig Ziglar, Time is more valuable than money. Say farewell to the retiring police warrior who sacrifice family time and safety in the name of duty with the heartfelt happy retirement wishes and tell them they will always be part of the family. You cant win until you do this. "I'm the police, and I'm here to arrest you. George Foreman, People may live as much retired from the world as they like, but sooner or later they find themselves debtor or creditor to some one. Search, discover and share your favorite Retirement GIFs. You've got a new assignment officer - enjoying your retirement! How Did You, by C. A. Lynch How did you get to retire before me? This is in line with the philosophy of the joy of being retired website which is to celebrate retirement and laugh at it instead of looking at it as a bad thing. Jim Bishop, Dont play too much golf. 29. If a robber robs a house under renovation and accidentally leaves his handprint on wet cement. "Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. Open up! A week after my wife went missing, the police told me I should expect the worst-case scenario. Mark Twain, A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams. Sheriff, "Retirement is wonderful. Why did the sheriff lock up her boyfriend? 4.5 out of 5 stars (455) $ 15.00 FREE shipping Add to Favorites Retirement Gifts. Gilbert K. Chesterton, Men and women approaching retirement age should be recycled for public service work, and their companies should foot the bill. It is better to live rich than to die rich. Henry Ford, Retirement is a blank sheet of paper. I love you! your many years of sacrifice and service. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it." Once police officers join the force, they are part of a tight-knit law enforcement community. My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed. services professional who has a fiduciary relationship with you before making any type of investment or 45. My friend was killed by a 2 ton sack of falling chickpeas. Oh, how jealous I am of you You make me feel blue! Junior Seau. The best funny retirement wishes for coworkers and colleagues include: The days of 9-5 are past! Showering is Now Optional. 14 reasons why retirement jobs are the best! 13. 80 Retirement Quotes - Inspirational and Funny Retirement Sayings Last updated: February 17, 2023 Retirement quotes are a fantastic way of making the retiree in your life feel recognized and appreciated. However, my alarm clock and I have several years before we can reach that point. They aren't going to get rid of me that way." William Shakespeare, Age to me means nothing. Yo Mama so stupid she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged. SO I RETIRED AND FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB! The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances. Jeanne Moreau, Its paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesnt appeal to anyone. Use these famous quotes to send a boss, co-worker or teacher off to a happy and healthy retirement. Some call it retirement. I, for one, happen to fall in the first category. Do I lose when the police officer says papers and I say scissors? No matter your connection to or feelings for cops, police jokes will have the whole family laughing. See more ideas about funny sayings quotes. Nothing happens by accident. Best wishes! Many people take no care of their money till they come nearly to the end of it, and others do just the same with their time. may Gods blessings be upon you assets, income, and investments such as equity in a home or savings accounts in addition to your You've done your hard time and now it's time to enjoy some freedom! Mason Cooley, Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else. Which dinosaurs were the best policemen? Discover and share Police Funny Quotes About Retirement. Thats how he contributes to the welfare of the community. As she dug through her purse, she became more and more agitated. 52. Fred Rogers, Work is the curse of the drinking classes. Its learning to live on less than you make, so you can give money back and have money to invest. Judge: I thought I said that I never wanted to see you in here again., Criminal: Thats what I kept telling the arresting officer, but he wouldnt listen.. With Great Honor and Recognition Enjoy.". Dishes. A trisara-cop. To display your contact list, you must sign in: It's St. Patrick, a Perfect Time to Be Punny! The officer cuts him off, "Sir, you were going twice the speed limit, I'm going to issue a ticket." Insistent, the man pleads, "Please! All the best for an amazing retirement! Police were called to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. So I went back to the charity shop and retrieved all her old clothes. We tell 'em to get a life." 49 Police retirement Poems ranked in order of popularity and relevancy. These quotes are perfect to wish your retiring boss, teachers, doctors and co-workers. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples." -George Burns Unknown, If all the year were playing holidays, to sport would be as tedious as to work. Keep in touch . My dogs dont even own bikes. The best part about retirement is that you don t have to worry about getting caught for doing nothing. Good Luck with Your Retirement which is going to haunt you. You Never Swerved From the Path of Duty. Theres a man in the town whos stealing the wheels of police cars. 10. Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. 12. Charles Lamb. This positive song reminds people that retirement isn't a final goodbye. Carolyn Leigh and Cy Coleman, Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summers day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time. ~ Ernie Harwell. Let him come out as I do, and bark. Funny cop retirement quotes. 24. The time now has come; the time is in your own hands. You Served Honestly, Faithfully and Gene Perret, "Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese." We will dearly miss you, your humor, and your jokes. Did you hear about the criminal who stole a lamp? As we express our gratitude, we must never Funny Quotes About Retirement "Age is an issue of mind over matter. When I was 65, I still had pimples. George Burns, You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. C.S. But sometimes you're looking for the perfect idea for someone really special, and you need something creative and unique. Looking for humorous notes and quirky messages to write on a sweet card or to use in a speech. If our wealth commands us, we are poor indeed. Funny retirement quotes and sayings. 62. Humorous quotes and messages. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. An officer stops a man for speeding and notices he's not wearing his required prescription glasses. "Won't You Celebrate with Me" by Lucille Clifton It's time to celebrate with loved ones. 61. Give Without Remembering and Else, I would have to go to the police station and report you to the cops. It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating. 32. How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? Police departments should continue to hire individuals of the highest possible character, so that young people look at the police in their cities and towns and say, "I want to be like that." "I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. For Your Loyal and Dedicated Service Prepare for the worst. 7. Why did the police arrest the star? We, the members of the NYPD, When Cops Retire. What is small, has a long tail and works with the police? From the movie: Judge Dredd. Cop: Im going to follow you to the nearest police station. Me: What for? Cop: Ive forgotten the way. Tommy Cooper, Driver: No, officer, its Hi, how are you?'. 19. My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman for Halloween, told me that I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed. Retirement life begins when the kids move out and the cat gets run over. A personalized best wishes and inspirational quote is an ideal way to honor the retiring police officer who spent his or her lifetime protecting and serving the community. Why did the coffee call 911? 2. After retirement, a 30 minute walk is the best thing to do for your ailments! Scott Elledge, Retired is being twice tired, Ive thought first tired of working, then tired of not. And dont forget carefully crafted police chief retirement wishes and prayers for the man or woman at the helm of the department. Present This to You as a Symbol of We've found several retirement quotes and sayings that will fit their personality. He or she who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement. Our weekly newsletter full of inspiration, podcasts, trends and news. I'm pretty jealous of you, but needless to say, I'm happy for your retirement. Funny retirement quotes for your boss. 51. I cant get old; Im working. Officer: No, I am an undercover detective. Tourist: So, why are you in uniform? Officer: Today is my day off.. "It's your turn. Congratulations. Will Rogers, "Often when you think you're at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else." If you are searching for funny retirement quotes, this list is for you! Bravery, compassion, ingenuity and dedication all must combine in order for a man or woman to make a job in law enforcement a career in law enforcement. What does it look like? the woman asked. For myriad reasons, this is a sub-optimal short-term solution to what really is a long-term problem. 3. Here are some humorous options. Max Asnas, Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate. Fred Rogers, "For many, retirement is a time for personal growth, which becomes the path to greater freedom." Why did the police officer smell so bad? What's five times five?" "Twenty five," says Martin. Peter Lynch. Hello, time. Unknown, We no longer follow traditional retirement models. It is the beginning of the open highway. Unknown, Dont act your age in retirement. The police told me they'd throw me in jail the next time they caught me stealing board games. Before you spend, earn. Have you ever been pulled over for a speeding ticket that you didnt think you deserved? We wish you the best of luck How Much Does Assisted Living Cost In Sedona Arizona? The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. In appreciation for over 31 years You deserve a great retirement, but I know you will still keep yourself busy. Here's hoping for a fun, rewarding and restful life.". Others couldn't imagine not working and will retire when they die. It's time to work on your golf game, enjoy retirement! Police Retirement Quotes and Plaque Wording Ideas #653-1 "Thin Blue Line" Police Retirement Plaque Wording Idea Honoring Your Service Presented to Retired Sergeant In appreciation for over 31 years of loyal and dedicated service to the People of the City of New York. 20 Cops Memes Humor In 2020 Cops Humor Police Humor Cop Jokes . Let me tell all of you the truth, right here and now. "We envy you, but are excited for you!". May you enjoy your retirement! Congratulations on making it out alive You take the cake! Dishes who? Enjoy your freedom! We enjoy success due to your leadership, Police chief: Do you have any leads or suspects for the murder case? Funny Retirement Quotes for your Boss. Retirement! The largest collection of retirement one line jokes in the world. Before the officer can even say a word at the stop, the mandressed in a tuxedoblurts out, "Sir you have to listen to me". I didnt realize you were a cop.. Finally a police car comes up. A state trooper pulled a farmer over on a rural road and said, Sir, do you realize your brother fell out of the car several miles back?, To which the farmer replied, Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!, This article was originally published on Oct. 29, 2019, A Man Went Viral For Refusing To Give Up His Spot On A Ride To A Crying Child, An American Mom Shares The Utter Magic Of Danish Playgrounds. Thank you for all you've done and the legacy you've left for the next generation. It is the beginning of the open highway." A Retired Husband Becomes A Wife's Full-Time Job. Nellah McGough runs the day-to-day operations in the Southern Living Birmingham office, responds to reader questions and comments, manages freelancer contracts, and invoices. What happens when a police officer goes to bed? Tennessee Williams, Dont look for the need in the haystack. The doctor shakes his head sadly, then asks the third man, "Okay Martin it's your turn. 38. Its learning to live on less than you make, so you can give money back and have money to invest. 13 Funny Retirement Quotes to Write in Retirement Cards Lindsay Tigar Updated: Jan. 13, 2023 Retirement is a happy, celebratory time where one can finally reap the benefits of multi-decade. I call it bliss. Cop: No. Man: What about all these other cars? Cop: They didnt ask!. Upon retirement, you will take the long walk . "You will be alone. Disclaimer: The content, calculators, and tools on NewRetirement.com are for informational and educational purposes I dont feel anything until noon. Unknown, "Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save." Congratulations on your well-earned retirement. Confucius, "Well, I didn't grow up with that word 'retirement' as part of my consciousness. What do police officers do when they are on the volleyball court? Unknown, Expect the best. Do you have an investment policy statement? Danielle Duckery, "You have to put off being young until you can retire." Discover and share police retirement quotes funny.